Sentiment and Nostalgia

I've been feeling sentimental lately, with it being so close to Christmas and all... and with sentiment (for me, at least) come nostalgia. With nostalgia comes music I listened to when I was younger. Allow me to share with you a few examples:

... You get the idea. Most of what I listened to then came from my parents, as does a lot of what I listen to now.

This was all before Glee and before David Cook, so you know it's old (or at least, kind of old).

Musical age is so weird... a song that's been around for one or two years is considered old... and I even feel that way. Media is constant. Everyday, new albums and singles are launching, new artists are being discovered all the time... it's an endless cycle. If it ever does end, the world itself will implode. Alien planets will be baffled.

-Narwhal Sandkurt

The Difference Between Best Friends and Boyfriends

[12/12/2013 4:02:44 PM] Anywhore: Luker
[12/12/2013 4:03:14 PM] Anywhore: You didgeridoo
[12/12/2013 4:04:10 PM] Professor  Oak: ??
[12/12/2013 4:23:41 PM] Professor  Oak: wut
[12/12/2013 4:26:59 PM] Anywhore: Luker you didgeridoo
[12/12/2013 4:48:11 PM] Professor  Oak: WHAT
[12/12/2013 4:48:12 PM] Professor  Oak: WHY
[12/12/2013 4:48:28 PM] Anywhore: Didgeridoo
[12/12/2013 4:48:42 PM] Professor  Oak: what did i do
[12/12/2013 4:50:59 PM] Anywhore: You are
[12/12/2013 5:21:39 PM] Professor  Oak: what i do
[12/12/2013 5:21:51 PM] Anywhore: What do you didgeridoo
[12/12/2013 5:21:57 PM] Professor  Oak: iuhgjg
[12/12/2013 5:22:22 PM] Anywhore: It was a pun all along
[12/12/2013 5:22:35 PM] Professor  Oak: ....................................................................
[12/12/2013 5:23:17 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHSHA
[12/12/2013 5:23:30 PM] Professor  Oak: congration
[12/12/2013 5:23:36 PM] Professor  Oak: you done it
[12/12/2013 5:23:50 PM] Professor  Oak: YOU FUCKING DONE IT
[12/12/2013 5:23:57 PM] Professor  Oak: and i
[12/12/2013 5:24:01 PM] Professor  Oak: AM DIGLETT
[12/12/2013 5:24:07 PM] Anywhore: Why
[12/12/2013 5:24:07 PM] Professor  Oak: "digglet dig"
[12/12/2013 5:24:24 PM] Professor  Oak: BECAuse I DIGGLET DIG
[12/12/2013 5:24:30 PM] Professor  Oak: U HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT
[12/12/2013 5:24:49 PM] Anywhore: I am confuse
[12/12/2013 5:28:25 PM] Professor  Oak: mission accomplished
[12/12/2013 5:28:35 PM] Professor  Oak: but your pun inspired me
[12/12/2013 5:28:41 PM] Professor  Oak: i'm pulling a crazy aradia
[12/12/2013 5:28:51 PM] Professor  Oak: lol wtf is grammar
[12/12/2013 5:29:08 PM] Professor  Oak: wht ^
[12/12/2013 5:29:20 PM] Professor  Oak: AH NO I CAN'T IT HURTS....OW
[12/12/2013 6:14:14 PM] Anywhore: Why did you didgeridoo this
[12/12/2013 6:14:40 PM] Professor  Oak: It was a bad idea.

Typical conversation between Luke and I.

[6:06:06 PM] Anywhore: 90s music playing, about to write the final draft.
[6:06:16 PM] Karkitty: OH FUCK I forgot about that
[6:06:16 PM] Karkitty: SHit
[6:06:25 PM] Anywhore: It's due Tuesday
[6:06:34 PM] Karkitty: Oh okay phew
[6:06:39 PM] Karkitty: I can procracinate more
[6:07:07 PM] Anywhore: I'm not. I'm going to work now, while Skyping, because why not?
[6:07:21 PM] Karkitty: I like your logic
[6:07:33 PM] Karkitty: This tesselation has to be colored though, so I'm gonna keep at that
[6:07:55 PM] Anywhore: Paint it black
[6:08:10 PM] Karkitty: Funny that you say that...
[6:08:14 PM] Karkitty: Checkerboard pattern going here
[6:08:22 PM] Anywhore: Ehehehe
[6:08:41 PM] Anywhore: / I see a red door and I want it painted blaaaack /
[6:09:07 PM | Edited 6:09:19 PM] Karkitty: / du nunu nu nu nu nu nu nu paint it blaaaack /
[6:09:37 PM] Anywhore: / I see the girls walk by in their summer clotheeees /
[6:10:06 PM] Karkitty: / I don't know the words but the beat is in my head /
[6:10:22 PM] Anywhore: Pretty much
[6:11:35 PM] Anywhore: / Hello, I've waited here for you, everlooooong /
[6:12:11 PM] Karkitty: Karkitty hums the tune because they don't know the words

Typical conversation between Ryan and I.

Know the difference between best friends and boyfriends.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

How Does One Put This Into Words?

I don't know how to describe this feeling.

Numb? It feels like it.

Numb mixed with an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I know it well, as do most reading this. It's the feeling you get when "Black Hole Sun" starts playing... like the void may come to steal you away at any second. Like you're sinking further and further into ice-filled water with no way of escaping.

I wouldn't call it depression.

Maybe it is, but I'm not calling it that.

It's a trigger, that's all. Just a simple little trigger, so easily avoided... and yet, it's everywhere. In everything. No means of escape, it's there in your thoughts, too.

Ah, but it doesn't matter. The feeling will pass soon enough. I know this, as it always does. I'll be laughing and having good time in just a few hours, this awful emotion forgotten.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Bubble Wrap and the Metric System

I've begun to use the metric system whenever possible... from Celsius instead of Fahrenheit to centimeters instead of inches. I've even begun using the day/month/year system, which makes way more sense than month/day/year.

I feel as though that's the best thing Tumblr has done.

Tumblr has made it easier to understand other countries, the systems they use, and why the U.S. is full of shit.

Ah, and my little brother has just discovered bubble wrap.

Just discovered.

He was popping bubble wrap next to me, but he seems to have ceased the popping.

Good for him.

But, um...

Man, I don't know what happened. I just started typing, and then this happened... damn. I need to get better about this whole "stick to the subject" thing.

Also, the "one post a day" thing... but hey, as long as I'm taking a break from Tumblr, there will be plenty of new posts to read. I guarantee you.

Alas, this is the final post of the evening. I assure you of this.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. Man, these titles I'm giving make it seem like the post is going to be so much better than it actually is. should stop doing that. No, I should keep doing that. Live for the titles, readers.... live for the titles.

The Internet is Powerful

So, I was going through the stats on this blog, and I noticed that people from all over have seen my posts. Most of them are from the US, of course, but also Malaysia, Ukraine, Serbia, Netherlands, Germany, China, Finland, India, and Japan, and I'm sure elsewhere, too.

I underestimated how fast things can spread over the internet. Wow.

... To be honest, I've never heard about Serbia before now. Thanks, public education! I feel like a douche now. Like... a dumb American.

According to Google, Serbia is in Europe. Capital Belgrade. Things I never knew before.

You learn something new every day, huh?
-Narwhal Sandkurt

97 Posts, and Now We're Getting Educational

I'll reach 100 posts on this blog before I reach the one-year mark.

This is the 97th post. 97 posts on a blog, none of which holding true value. Then again, this is a blog. Blogs don't typically hold value.

So, to make this post mean something, I'm going to teach you all some shit I've learned in anatomy!

(insert feeble "yay")

The Five Layers of the Epidermis:

Stratum Corneum - 20-30 cell layers thick, provides protection from external environment, dead cells. Thicker in thick skin.  

Stratum Lucidum (only found in thick skin) - Clear layer.  

Stratum Granulosum - 2-5 cell layers thick, contains keratohyaline, granules and lamellated bodies.  

Stratum Spinosum - Several layers thick, lots of desmosomes (gives spiky appearance).  

Stratum Basale -  Deepest layer, one layer thick, mitosis occurs here.

Dermis: Below the epidermis. Connective tissue layer of skin. Richly supplied with nerves, blood vessels, lymphatics, oil & sweat glands. 

Divided into two regions: Papillary layer, reticular layer. 

Papillary layer: Superficial layer of the dermis, composed of connected issue, has projections called dermal papillae which indent the epidermis.  

Reticular layer: Under papillary layer, composed of connective tissue. Separation of Papillary layer and epidermis results in blister.

 Hypodermis: attaches skin to organs and tissues. Not part of skin. Connective tissue and adipose tissue for “insulation”. Infants and elderly have less, are more sensitive to cold.

That's all I'll provide today.

Congratulations, you might have learned something new today!

-Narwhal Sandkurt

Sentiment Sans Sap

The closer this blog gets to the one-year mark, the more sentimental I get about the early days.

If any of you are wondering, the one-year anniversary of the post "Analogs" is on the 22nd of this month...so, 22/12/13. 

Now, I basically live for the sentimental things, so long as they are sans sap. I don't like all that gooey feel-good Valentine's day-esqe shit... maybe I will, someday, but now? 

Nope.

Makes me feel uncomfortable.

And it's not even the "eeeeee" uncomfortable, it's more the "OH MY GOD THIS IS SO SAPPY WHY AM I HERE I COULD BE HOME HOT CHOCLETY MILK YOU LIKE HOT CHOCLETY MILK" kind of uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, that's a bit of an insight as to how I speak.

Yep.

Awkward and embarrassing.

Back on topic:

I really like sentiment, okay?

I'm not a sentient being, I'm a sentiment being.

100% sentimental.

I'm not even a living, breathing thing, just an organ sack of sentiment.

That sounded better in my head... okay.

-Narwhal Sandkurt

P.S. FUCK There's alliteration in the title.

P.P.S. Do prison guards use Proactiv to stop breakouts?  

Possibly the Greatest Skype Chat I've Ever Had

My friend Luke and I started talking about Doctor Who... he was watching Idiot's Lantern/Satan Pit, and....

[2:57:02 PM] Anywhore: He's 1200 years old, wears fezzes and eats fish sticks and custard... "Odd" is pretty normal
[2:57:08 PM] Anywhore: You could say he's...
[2:57:12 PM] Anywhore: ... ood
[2:57:25 PM] Professor  Oak: I'm done.
[2:57:32 PM] Professor  Oak: God damnit maggie you fucking did it.
[2:57:37 PM] Professor  Oak: YOU MADE THE PUN
[2:57:47 PM] Professor  Oak: YOU MADE THE FUCKING PUN
[2:57:52 PM] Anywhore: Rose did it first
[2:58:19 PM] Professor  Oak: BUT I M WATHICNG THE OOD EPISONDE DMAN YHOU
[2:58:59 PM] Anywhore: Two-part Ood episode
[2:59:15 PM] Professor  Oak: IM HALFWAY THROUGH PART OOD
[2:59:16 PM] Professor  Oak: I MEAN
[2:59:17 PM] Professor  Oak: TWO
[2:59:24 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHAHA
[2:59:31 PM] Anywhore: PART OOD
[2:59:41 PM] Professor  Oak: FUCK
[3:00:16 PM] Professor  Oak: PART OOD IM DONE WITH MYSELF
[3:00:28 PM] Anywhore: Ehehehe
[3:02:48 PM] Professor  Oak: Alright I think I've recovered from that ood turn of events
[3:02:57 PM] Professor  Oak: OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK
[3:03:17 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHAAHA
[3:04:01 PM] Professor  Oak: I CNAT
[3:04:23 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHAHAHA
[3:04:50 PM] Professor  Oak: I FUCKIN CANIT
[3:05:06 PM] Professor  Oak: I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TOUCAN
[3:05:15 PM] Anywhore: TOUCAN???
[3:05:28 PM] Anywhore: YOU LOST THE ABILITY TO TROPICAL BIRD???
[3:05:33 PM] Anywhore: OH MAN
[3:05:37 PM] Professor  Oak: TO CAN
[3:05:37 PM] Anywhore: THIS IS SERIOUS
[3:06:04 PM] Professor  Oak: THESE PUNS ARE REALLY OOD
[3:06:05 PM] Professor  Oak: NO
[3:06:07 PM] Professor  Oak: NO
[3:06:08 PM] Professor  Oak: NO
[3:06:13 PM] Professor  Oak: ODDD
[3:06:14 PM] Professor  Oak: ODD
[3:06:23 PM] Anywhore: BAD
[3:06:31 PM] Anywhore: THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
[3:06:32 PM] Professor  Oak: Alright.. I'm okay.
[3:06:35 PM] Anywhore: okay
[3:06:44 PM] Professor  Oak: Whew...Deep breaths....
[3:07:08 PM] Anywhore: You lost the ability to tropical bird there for a second
[3:07:14 PM] Anywhore: it wasn't very ood
[3:07:23 PM] Professor  Oak: ...

In short, never Skype me while watching those episodes. I'll make ood puns.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

I'm Taking a Break from Tumblr

Would sitting behind a computer all day doing nothing but scrolling a "magical" blue website filled to brim with idiots count as leading a sad life? If so, I lead a particularly despairing one.

I suddenly feel very disconnected with a world I once strolled through peacefully, everything I once saw as beautiful corrupted. Anything I thought that damned website stood for is nothing. The inhabitants are annoying, post about smoking pot all the time, and seem to think they're better than everyone else.

I'm no better than anyone, especially not them.

I don't know what's caused this sudden shift. I feel as though it's just there to silently torment, seeing all these innocent people be torn down by some "A+ community of bloggers." I don't care anymore.

I'm taking a break from that. I'm going to leave Tumblr until winter break starts. I'm going to get back on my feet, forget about the pot-smoking idiots who've fucked up my everything, basically, and live like a normal person for the next two weeks. Maybe I'll feel better afterwords. I don't know.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Sleep Deprivation and Skype Chats

I'm not entirely sure what's happening anymore.

I mean, I do know, but it's a warped version of knowing. Like you know, but you got your information from somebody else. I'm the secondary source for my own life, basically.

Days are blurring together, conversations merge with little to no explanation as to why, names don't match to faces... I'm not sure why this is happening, but if I just chalk it all up to a lack of sleep, maybe I'll get to stay home and hibernate for a while.

Oh, well. That's what winter break is for, right?

It probably is a lack of sleep, as basically all mid-pubescents are. Human nature.

[5:55:14 PM] Anywhore: Wait
[5:55:24 PM] Anywhore: New favourite quote
[5:55:40 PM] Karkitty: You have my attention. Go ahead
[5:56:41 PM] Anywhore:  From The Beautiful and Damned by F Scot Fitzgerald, page seven
[5:56:57 PM] Karkitty: *drum roll*
[6:00:21 PM] Anywhore: "The notion of sitting down and conjuring up, not only words to clothe thoughts, but thoughts worthy of being clothed... "
[6:00:42 PM] Karkitty: That's deep.
[6:01:30 PM] Anywhore: The rest of it was just how ridiculous that seems
[6:01:47 PM] Karkitty: Oh?
[6:02:43 PM] Anywhore: There's also a bit where he describes and old man as basically a big whiny baby using bigger words to make it seem less harsh
[6:03:03 PM] Karkitty: Ah
[6:03:26 PM] Anywhore: Also, the main character likes to wear women's clothing alone in his house
[6:03:34 PM] Anywhore: Yep
[6:03:41 PM] Anywhore: F. Scot Fitzgerald
[6:03:52 PM] Anywhore: Totally serious writer
[6:03:56 PM] Karkitty: Oh yeah
[6:03:59 PM] Karkitty: The most serious
[6:05:00 PM] Anywhore: I've actually never read The Great Gatsby, though
[6:05:09 PM] Karkitty: I've been told it's amazing
[6:05:49 PM] Anywhore: I think we read it in High School
[6:05:57 PM] Karkitty: Yeah
[6:06:25 PM] Anywhore: Also Macbeth
[6:06:36 PM] Karkitty: Fun times all around
[6:08:32 PM] Anywhore: I'm writing book quotes now
[6:08:53 PM] Karkitty: Cool
[6:09:18 PM] Anywhore: "Make sweet love to the moist cave wall" - The Fault in Our Stars, John Green
[6:09:45 PM] Karkitty: All these highly valued books
[6:09:54 PM] Anywhore: Yep
[6:11:04 PM] Anywhore: "Have you tried masturbating? It's great!" - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
[6:11:25 PM] Karkitty: All of these quotes are gold
[6:12:24 PM] Anywhore: "I'm riding with the turnips." - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones
[6:14:57 PM] Anywhore: "Kurp." - The Way of Kings, By Brandon Sanderson
[6:15:22 PM] Karkitty: All of them 100% gold
[6:15:55 PM] Anywhore: Kurp means child in some language of his fantasy land
[6:15:58 PM] Anywhore: But hey
[6:16:01 PM] Anywhore: Kurp
[6:16:13 PM] Karkitty: Kurp is a comical word and that's all there is to say
[6:21:06 PM] Anywhore: Yeah
[6:21:34 PM] Anywhore: You git any book quotes?
[6:21:37 PM] Anywhore: Got
[6:21:39 PM] Anywhore: Fuck
[6:22:17 PM] Karkitty: 'A man once asked me to show him his true love. I showed him a mirror.' ~Some book from the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
[6:22:31 PM] Anywhore: Wow
[6:25:04 PM] Anywhore: He should have pointed to the man's hand
[6:25:40 PM] Karkitty: What?
[6:26:04 PM] Anywhore: Ehehe

I'm Anywhore, Karkitty is said male I've known for five years. Normally, he's more talkative, but from what I understand, he playing a video game or some shit. I don't know. Actually, I do, but saying so seems a bit clingy, or... whatever you want to call it.

Also, I guess I should mention the autoplay. Nice, isn't it? Oh, the joys of HTML.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S.
[5:24:15 PM] Anywhore: So
[5:24:19 PM] Anywhore: Aeiou
[5:24:56 PM] Karkitty: I always remember that as  'A (as in hey) E!(name) I(speaker) owe you!'
[5:25:24 PM] Anywhore: I just remember Aeiou with the occasional y
[5:25:44 PM] Anywhore: Also
[5:25:49 PM] Anywhore: Ce ci cy
[5:26:06 PM] Karkitty: I
[5:26:12 PM] Karkitty: Don't know how to say that
[5:26:36 PM] Anywhore: See e, see I, see y
[5:26:53 PM] Karkitty: That
[5:27:01 PM] Karkitty: makes me frustrated and I don't know why
[5:29:29 PM] Anywhore: You can sell cells, but you can't cell sells but a cell can sell cells but a sell can't cell cells or sells plus a cell can't cell sells
[5:30:16 PM] Karkitty: I ca nt stop laughing
[5:31:25 PM] Anywhore: You beat a person with a beet but you can't beet a person with a beat nor can you beet a person with beets but you could potentially beat them with beats
[5:32:15 PM] Karkitty: I
[5:32:30 PM] Karkitty: I don't even
[5:32:41 PM] Anywhore: Depends on the situation
[5:32:58 PM] Karkitty: Yes it does.
[5:33:36 PM] Anywhore: Did I mention a cell can't sell sells?
[5:33:54 PM] Karkitty: I don't know
[5:36:08 PM] Anywhore: Man language just sucks
[5:36:19 PM] Karkitty: Language is crazy man
[5:36:38 PM] Karkitty: My ability to use it drops quickly after I begin
[5:36:44 PM] Anywhore: Affect and effect
[5:36:47 PM] Anywhore: Fuck
[5:37:20 PM] Anywhore: Wait
[5:37:28 PM] Anywhore: Neutral term
[5:37:32 PM] Anywhore: Uffect
[5:37:34 PM] Karkitty: Wha
[5:37:45 PM] Anywhore: Problems solved
[5:37:59 PM] Anywhore: I uffected this greatly

Still Embarrassed... but Hey, Garth Brooks

The initial shock of the whole hand-holding has died down, if only slightly. I'm not completely pathetic now. Still awkward and giggly, but hey, I'm a thirteen-year-girl. It's a given this is going to happen.

Man, I'm even working on poetry for this fucker.

This is getting a bit out of hand.

Anyways, I've come to the realization that Garth Brooks can sing anything.

I have a challenge for him, then:

Happy Chichester's "A Man Needs an Airplane".

Yeah.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. I know I said I don't listen to country, but have you heard Garth Brooks sing Motown? Holy shit.

This is Actually a Bit Embarrassing

This story is pretty embarrassing to me, someone who has honestly never felt my stomach hit the fucking floor, in a good way, let alone when some guy I've known for five years entwines his fingers in mine. Jesus, just thinking about it now makes my stomach twist, but not in the whole I'm-going-to-hurl kind of way.

Then again, this could just the by-product of being touched by someone who isn't some verbally-abusive asshole trying to convince me he loves me so he can get in my pants. Or maybe he is, secretly, but that's a risk we take everyday, isn't it?

Oh, God, no. I'm turning into a sap.

Anyways, we're doing this Secret Santa thing in my language arts class, but we're calling it "Secret Pals" because some people don't celebrate Christmas and they want to be "politically correct." It's only our English class, too, every other class in our grade calls it by it's fucking name.

I'm getting a bit vulgar, aren't I? Damn.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Someone Take Photoshop Away from Me before I Do any Major Damage

I suppose I should put some meaningful content in this post, with it being the 90th one and all, but I really can't bring myself to care enough. I know I'll look back on this blog in a few months to a few years' time and marvel at how much of a pretentious twat I was.

Well, let's enjoy this while it lasts.

By doing another one of those god-awful introductions!

Third time's the charm, right?

I run a fandom blog (assbuttinmordor) and a hipster blog (diveintomylake) on tumblr... also, a few other blogs on this site, which aren't updated as frequently.

I listen to just about anything, from show tunes to death metal. I don't, however, listen to rap, hip hop, or any sort of country, save for a few bands that only slightly dip into the genre.

My sexuality has come to an impasse: pansexuality makes sense for me, since I take time to get to know people before I figure out I like them, but it's really best described as homoflexible. Ah well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Blogging has become a bigger part of my life than originally intended. I'm a faster and more accurate typer because of it, but hey, everyone makes mistakes sometimes - especially when you often times type too fast and fuck up the easy words.

That's enough of an introduction, over eleven months in.

So, I've discovered photoshop. Allow me to share with you some of my beautiful creations:

The last one is my personal favorite.

I think it may go on my Christmas cards this year.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Ships, Expectations, and Puns, Apparently.

Apparently, my friends can't look at me the same way since I told them I ship Erii2ol. Too bad. In case they hadn't noticed, everything I ship - save for Finchel and DaveJade - is gay. All of them. Klaine, Erii2ol, Destiel, Sterek, Johnlock... did they really expect anything more from me?

I'm not sure anymore.

Do people expect things from me?

Would you, as a reader of this blog post, expect anything more than a quick insight into my life, possibly followed by a pun (I'm planning on doing something with all these damn puns... I'm so sorry)?

I could have tagged this onto the end of the last post, but I didn't because this is a draft I've been meaning to finish.

I've finished it.

Good for me.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. How do you make someone less funny?

You poke holes in their eyes and drain them of their vitreous humour.

I Tried to Explain Things... with Me, That Doesn't Always Work

I don't know if anyone currently reading this has ever clicked the "my tumblr" link at the top of this blog, but if you have, I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. The link is fixed.

Anywhore, I've discovered photoshop and, honestly, someone should take it away from me before I do any major damage.

But it is good for somethings, like Christmas cards and edits for various purposes.

As you'll notice, I've made some minor changes to the blog. Or maybe they're major. I don't really know, to be honest... it's just some much needed change. Of course, I can't completely erase this blog's dark past...
as long as the things I put on cafe press still remain, I'll always be reminded of the time when my ego slightly inflated.

That's all I have.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. If you're wondering, I have no idea what brought about this change in demeanor. Is it depression? Is it embarrassment for my past self? Is it aliens? The world may never know.

A Short Story Brought on by God Knows What:

I, being the absolute genius I am, went into cross-dressing prostitution in late 1874. My wife, Andrea, and my son, Alexander, knew nothing of my late-afternoon job, out on the back alley ways without much more to qualify me as "woman" than the tight dress housing hilariously fake breasts. I never got more than a catcall and few bills stuffed down my corset by thankfully quick hands.

In 1879, my son married a petite blonde girl by the name of Caroline... who, in later months, had an affair with my brother Stephen. Alexander and Caroline had taken in a child from the orphanage, a little boy named John. Caroline gave birth to Stephen's son, William, two months later. Alexander was left shocked and heartbroken, leaving the whore and moving to New York, where he met Martha. He wrote often, but never did come home. John had gone with him.

Around 1880, a man by the name of Aaron agreed to aid me in the trafficing of my own body, providing me with realistic false breasts. Little did I know, Caroline was his younger sister.

In the fall of 1881, Caroline and Stephen married, leaving me related to the man currently trafficing my fake breasts in a tight corset for a few bills every couple of days. I quickly dropped out of the business and retired from work for good, basking in the glory of my last few years.

Mary, a woman more inclined to alcohol than any female should be, married John without much of a drunken second thought and birthed a boy they named Levi. Growing up around a wasted mother and broken father, Levi spent much of his childhood far from other children, and was mute until the age of seventeen.

In the spring 1884, Caroline, Stephen, Alexafnder (by means of letters, no doubt), and I formed a cult. Many who heard of this cult wondered why we included only one of our wives, as aposed to all or none. We never did reply, as there wasn't a clear answer.

The next year, Aaron, John, Mary, and William joined

In 1890, Aaron murdered John and William before going into exile. Less than a week after, Carlonie killed herself. Stephen took to drinking with a such a force that he died from alcohol poisoning in 1893.

At the age of eighteen, Levi found love in a tavern with a wasted broad. The poor whore became pregnant with his first son, Benjamin. They wed, and two years after Ben's birth, Jesse was born.

When both sons were in their early twenties, Benjamin tried to murder Jesse by means of rat poison. Instead, he mixed up the cups of tea and drank the poisoned one. He died shortly after.

Jesse spent the rest of his life trying to have a child with various whites from bars, never succeeding. Until one night, when he managed to impregnate a girl who ran before dawn. The child, a boy named Henry, found Jesse on his death bed, who was delighted he had succeeded in his task.






There you go. Fuck knows where that came from.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Freshly Painted Nails Make it Difficult to Type

So, I just painted my nails. I mean, I literally just finished. They aren't even dry yet, there's a bunch of rogue nail polish all over my fingers, it's pretty ugly. But, my nails are black now.

Also, I plan on dyeing my hair red. When, I am not sure.

Oh, my... I'm turning emo.

Anyways, the cult will wear our black hooded robes for Halloween and carry plain white candles. I imagine we will have many virgin sacrifices on that day. So far, we've fed them well and kept them safe from harm. They seem content with their capture.

-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. You know you have great friends when they joke about selling you into prostitution

Started Watching Teen Wolf

So I've started watching Teen Wolf (the TV series), and so far, so good.

And I'm entirely convinced Stiles has a crush on Derek, just saying.

Also, I watched the original Carrie the other day, and I plan on seeing the new one soon.

Tumblr changed its layout, and I am very uncomfortable. Even the logo changed, plus it looks like it's a lighter blue colour for the background (wow, that was such a great sentence). At least the photosets are still the same as always.

"Don't pass to McCall" Shit son, it's about to hit the fan.
-Narwhal Sandkurt, currently watching Teen Wolf in another tab

This post ended up being about chicken nuggers

I don't really have anything to post about at the moment, but I'll come up with something off the top of my head for you (even though there's no post on Sundays).

So I walked to the library yesterday, and found myself getting hungry. So, I went to go get food. I originally wanted mcnuggers, but it was too fucking early to get normal food from McDonald's (which is bullshit, because if I want mcnuggers at, say, four in the morning, I should be able to get mcnuggers at that time). So, I went to burger king instead. No real story, just wanted to vent my frustration about the mcnuggers.

Also, on friday night (which was homecoming), the eighth grade band went and played with the marching band. The clarinets had tacos, mcnuggers, and wendy's fries... we've also decided that next year, we're bringing dinosaur chicken nuggers.

Chicken nuggers are the fucking bomb, okay?
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Here's the real October post:

Ah, yes, October... the time when everything is dying and all the shows are coming back. There's a chill in the air, carved pumpkins all over the damn place, and all those fake internal organs make this month truly amazing.

Also, you can find gems like this on tumblr.com

I guess it really ought to be story time...

So, when I was younger and we lived with my grandparents, I used to go trick-or-treating around the neighbourhood (as most young children did).

There was this one house I was always terrified of going to every year because they always had this guy in a gorilla suit (I was afraid of gorillas, okay?).

One year, I went up to that house and I saw that they had the gorilla in a cage. I thought, "all right. This year won't be so bad." But when I turned around...

There was another fucking gorilla.

I almost shat my pants, to be honest.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

October... also a few other things. The bit about October will be explored a bit more in a later post.

I am fearful for the future of the cult of Skaaro, readers. I don't know how smoothly things will run when we go to high school as all of us obviously have different fortes and most likely won't be put in a whole lot of the same classes, if any at all.

Of course, there is still Science Olympiad, but I personally plan on doing marching band which means I'll miss a lot of meets at the beginning of the year.

Nevertheless, one of us on the high council's house has been flooded. Said high council member is currently staying with relatives, to my knowledge.

Also, it is finally October. I know I may not seem like the type, but I personally love Halloween, and October in general. This month is particularly fantastic because the leaves are changing, people are putting up fake skeletons and plastic ghosts and (hopefully) imitation internal organs, you've got the Halloween specials for almost every show out there and...

... Supernatural season nine!!!!
-Narwhal Sandkurt

I've come to the rude awaken that I will never fully be accepted into boy culture unless I, myself, become a boy. While I am entirely keen to ditch the feminine body, the idea of being one of them seems inviting. I will explore this idea with more depth.

So I've come home from a long day of panic attacks and tears (and they say there's nothing wrong with the American education system). I go from a year with assholes to a year with really fucking loud people, and too many of them. Also, it appears my fellow cult members think it's okay to say they don't want me around in a joking manner ( at least I think they're joking).

Fuckwads.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

RIP Cory Monteith

Cory Monteith (Finn Hudson on Glee) died last night... and, no, I am NOT okay. He's gone, and there is no other Cory Monteith and never will be another. I'll never meet him. I'll get to hear him laugh, really laugh, right there, in front of me, because he's gone and not coming back and if he does I'm calling the Winchesters because holy shit zombie/vengeful spirit.

Goodbye, Cory. Have fun with Grilled Cheesus.
-Narwhal Sandkurt