Halloween and the Inevitable Cosplay

The hour is upon us.

'Which hour?' you ask, as there are several.

Halloween night, of course.

I've decided to cosplay Tavros Nitram. Humanstuck, anyways, as I don't want to bother with grey face paint or horns.

Why would anybody for anything less than San Diego Comic Con?

There's a thing I'd do in a heartbeat. Full cosplay as the biggest con out there.

Cue the toddler blubbering with an outburst of "I wanna go!"
-Mark

End of the Run

The shows went fairly well. They went over well the audience every night, so I'd assume it was a nice thing to watch.

Good way to occupy two hours of your life, I suppose.

Ah, but that chapter of my life has ended. We're now onto yet another - my first time in the lull between shows. Shortly before Thanksgiving, we'll be casting for the musical, and the process begins again  - only much slower and much more painful.
-Mark

Opening Night

It's today.

Opening night, I mean.

It won't happen for another eleven hours, but the day is finally upon us.

Am I the only one who feels sick?

Oh, but it doesn't matter, I'll sit off stage right and pray to God nobody forgets a line.

Of course, I didn't eat this morning. I had half a juice barrel and poured it out onto the grass.

Doesn't really matter now, however. I'm sure things will be fine.
-Mark

Tech Week and Other Current Events.

I sit in study hall as I write this, wishing the time to go faster while simultaneously wishing it to crawl slower as I await the start of the final tech rehearsal for our fall show, The Tempest.  We've somehow managed to cram tech week, otherwise known as "hell week", into three days. As if that weren't maddening enough, opening night is tomorrow, and actors are still forgetting their lines.

Now that some of you may understand my anxiety concerning this, I will also mention that I do have optimism regarding the performances. Yes, despite the actors still dropping and re-arranging their lines, despite the freshman playing one of the most important roles, and despite one of our darling actors saying the name of the Scottish play and then not doing the thing to un-curse us (we injured our lead, the actor playing Caliban has hurt himself - and me - several times during rehearsal), I do feel as though things will go fairly smooth tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday.

And Saturday after the show, I'll be headed to a friend's house to make cosplay things.

Upon the discovery that the girl I was going to cosplay GamTav with is an even bigger piece of shit than any of us imagined,  I'm now taking it upon myself to avoid her as best I can. Confronting her would lead her to set her fellows on me, and call me whatever you like, that's simply not a thing I'd want.

In other words, she's evil and down-right psychopathic. It's time to get the hell out of dodge and steer my ass clear of her.
-Mark

Plight of the Tav Rp-er

This is a safe for work chat.

spiritAnimal [Soul] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

adiosToreador [AT] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

Soul: Hi

AT: hEY,

Soul: How are you?

AT: i'M DOING ALRIGHT, wHAT ABOUT YOU?

Soul: I'm doing well thank you so much

AT: sO,,, wHO ARE YOU, eXACTLY?

Soul: I'm soul, who are you?

AT: tAVROS, bUT MY FRIENDS LIKE TO CALL ME TAV,

Soul: Can I call you Tav?

AT: oH, uHH, sURE,

AT: hEHEH,

Soul: Its nice to meet you Tav

AT: yOU TOO, sOUL,

AT: hEH, tHAT KINDA SOUNDS LIKE sOL,

Soul: Its Soul,

AT: yEAH, i KNOW,

AT: i HAVE A FRIEND, oR REALLY, i KNOW A GUY, hIS NAME IS sOLLUX,

AT: wE CALL HIM sOL,

Soul: Sol

AT: yEAH, dO YOU KNOW HIM?

Soul: No

AT: oH, tHATS TOO BAD, hE'S A COOL GUY,

AT: nOT AS COOL AS ME, tHOUGH }B)

Soul: Yeah you are so cool!

AT: hEH, yEAH, bUT NOT AS COOL AS MY BRO gAMZEE,

AT: hE CAN LAY DOWN SOME PRETTY SICK FIRES,

AT: nOT AS SICK AS dAVE THOUGH,

AT: nO ONE'S AS SICK AS dAVE,

Soul: Dave is sick?

Soul: He should see a doctor then.

AT: oH, nO, hE'S NOT SICK,

AT: nOT LIKE THAT, aT LEAST,

Soul: Oh ok.

AT: hIS FIRES ARE SICK, tHOUGH,

AT: iT'S LIKE, wHOA, dUDE, sAVE SOME OF THAT FOR THE REST OF US,

Soul: Sounds, hot?

AT: uHH,

AT: sURE, i GUESS i'M ATTRACTIVE,

Soul: Totally.

-Mark

same

lmaouch. I hijacked this blog. it's Nick. or uh, aggressivePizza, or like ncncope1 if you remember me back then (if so please acquire amnesia soon, perhaps banging your head against the glass ceiling is an idea). I have usurped the throne to this shitty place for a while and I'ma use it to provide a unique perspective on the boy who won't shut up about himself. that's mark in case it wasn't clear. I'm the guy who was there for the entire transition. I saw "bisexual" become "lesbian", which then became bisexual again which became non-binary (don't think I don't remember you trying to get me to use "zhe" as a pronoun) which progressed into a "genderqueer" "homoflexible" angsty weeb, which grew into a trans boy with a sexuality I don't care enough to keep track of. I myself have seen a bit of growth, embarking on a little journey most people have only seen pieces of. but this isn't about that. this is about the person you come here to learn about and listen to, yes? yes.

let's see.. what should you know? my personal relationship with Mark has seen more twists and turns than any road in Indiana and a Saw movie combined. friend to enemy to [REDACTED] to frenemy to enemy to friend to whatever the fuck else. I don't exactly keep a log of this shit. I do specifically remember a particularly angsty phase wherein he was very easily swayed in opinion by a certain friend who was handy with a jar of carbonated water. but that's a story for another time. the journey mark has seen from my perspective has been outright absurd, but I do want to highlight some of his bouncing around within the binds of The Cult. Luke and I once tried to smooth over the past drama with a specific document that gag ruled events pertaining to a more advanced form of Darlene's escapades (and yet no one else forgives HER), with a small clause about how pronouns and names are actually pretty pointless things. the intention was to stop the violent attacks on any and every person who slipped up or misused a name out of spite, but I guess we where just "ignorant cis people". I've gained more respect in recent weeks for him, as together we adopted the philosophy of total equality as so few have. I can't testify for him, but for me, even as a kid, no form of hate or prejudice ever  made sense to me. my parents used to tell me not to play with the kids across the street for racial reasons they didn't want to talk about, and I always gave this innocent "but why?? they're so nice!" that I'm sure melted their hearts and eventually thawed the ice of bigotry that no longer resides over them today. I guess I've gotten off track. maybe I'll use this thing to spout bulllshit in the future. god knows you'll never be hearing from an official blog of mine again.

Reflections

I'm not sure what to blog about anymore.

I'm no where near as sad as I was a year ago.

I don't feel the same as I did a year ago about anyone or anything, myself included.

A year ago, making mistakes meant stressing over them with every fiber in my body, aggressively trying to right the wrong and becoming obsessed with the one I hurt in the process.

Now, I recognize that while the things I've done can't be made up for, the important thing is to learn from it and move on with my life. The person on the other end doesn't matter in this process, whether they decide to forgive and forget or begrudgingly remember, that's all up to them. There isn't a point to obsessing over how to win them over once more.

There also isn't a point to purposefully giving them more of a reason to hate you.

A year ago, it had first hit me that I wasn't a girl.

A year ago, I was being hit on by some guy I'd known for five years and, until that point, had hardly ever spoken to me.

Now, there's some senior girl flirting with me who wants to cosplay GamTav for Halloween, and I'm okay with this. I may only have a limited window of time that it's legal, but still, I'm okay with it.

A year ago, I had just begun to listen to Weezer.

Now -  and I mean right now - I'm listening to Weezer. Let's be real, when do I not? Anyone who follows me on Instagram is bombarded with a plethora of Rivers Cuomo pictures on a daily basis.
(While we're on the subject, I share a birthday with Cuomo. I flipped my shit when I found out.)

A lot of things change in a year. I haven't even scraped the surface in all the ways I've grown over the last twelve months.

So, potentially, there's a lot I could blog about. But how much of it will I actually tell to random strangers over the internet?
-Mark

Just a Reason to Post a Selfie, I Guess

"So, Mark (who we used to call Narwhal for some inane reason), what do you look like nowadays?"

Fucking fabulous, that's what.
-Mark

End of an Era and the Best Introduction Yet

Any long-time readers, I salute you. You saw me through what was likely the best representation of the process of maturity in the pre-teen years, from some scene kid/hipster/weeb trash piece of shit to whatever kind of garbage I am now.

But, that's over now. All that's left is whatever lies ahead. And since the plague of humanity burdens us so, we'll never truly be done maturing.

That being said, another introduction is in place, yes?

Hello, I'm Mark. I'm a bisexual transgender kid who spends too much time on the internet.

I enjoy politically conscious punk music, Homestuck, musicals, neuroscience, Magic the Gathering, and other things I'm sure you'll see me post eventually. I'm a thief of doom, a prospit dreamer, my zodiac troll is Sollux and my patron Gamzee.

Here is where I'll post whatever I feel like posting whenever I feel like posting it, as it's a personal blog.

I dislike prejudice, no matter which side of the argument it comes from.

And, above all, I welcome you to this new era that will just as shitty as all the rest (although more intelligible).
-Mark

Absence, a Drop of an Alias, and Drama Club

The events that have transpired these last few weeks of absence have been as follows:
-Become drama club ASM
-Lose social life almost entirely

Can't say I'm mourning the loss, however, as everything fell to shit shortly before. The loss of my morail was something I knew was inevitable, and yet, in the end, it still stung.

Could have been worse, however. Things could always be worse.

Anyone with working eyes can probably see that I've stopped using my alias.

Why?

Because I'm not a twelve-year-old scene kid/weeb trash anymore.

Thank God.

Now, on to yet another topic: Drama club.

I've wanted to join drama club in high school since I was very young - say, six or seven. So, of course, I joined once I finally got there.

It was the day before auditions for the fall show  - William Shakespeare's The Tempest, which is actually a comedy (and pretty damn funny at that) - and I'm out for a walk, per usual. I've come up to my usual spot, the elementary school closest to my house, and an old acquaintance of mine, Steven, is there.

Steven, being the stage manager, has to find an assistant by tomorrow, and up comes a familiar face. A face he trusts to a certain extent, at least.

And so, he asks me to be the assistant stage manager. Since everything in my social life had fallen to shit and I was fairly desperate to find a backup, I said yes.

And now we're here.

Well, essentially.
-Mark L.