I suppose I should put some meaningful content in this post, with it being the 90th one and all, but I really can't bring myself to care enough. I know I'll look back on this blog in a few months to a few years' time and marvel at how much of a pretentious twat I was.
Well, let's enjoy this while it lasts.
By doing another one of those god-awful introductions!
Third time's the charm, right?
I run a fandom blog (assbuttinmordor) and a hipster blog (diveintomylake) on tumblr... also, a few other blogs on this site, which aren't updated as frequently.
I listen to just about anything, from show tunes to death metal. I don't, however, listen to rap, hip hop, or any sort of country, save for a few bands that only slightly dip into the genre.
My sexuality has come to an impasse: pansexuality makes sense for me, since I take time to get to know people before I figure out I like them, but it's really best described as homoflexible. Ah well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Blogging has become a bigger part of my life than originally intended. I'm a faster and more accurate typer because of it, but hey, everyone makes mistakes sometimes - especially when you often times type too fast and fuck up the easy words.
That's enough of an introduction, over eleven months in.
So, I've discovered photoshop. Allow me to share with you some of my beautiful creations:
The last one is my personal favorite.
I think it may go on my Christmas cards this year.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
The different places on WiTMS
Sites You May Want to Visit
11/30/2013
11/28/2013
Ships, Expectations, and Puns, Apparently.
Apparently, my friends can't look at me the same way since I told them I ship Erii2ol. Too bad. In case they hadn't noticed, everything I ship - save for Finchel and DaveJade - is gay. All of them. Klaine, Erii2ol, Destiel, Sterek, Johnlock... did they really expect anything more from me?
I'm not sure anymore.
Do people expect things from me?
Would you, as a reader of this blog post, expect anything more than a quick insight into my life, possibly followed by a pun (I'm planning on doing something with all these damn puns... I'm so sorry)?
I could have tagged this onto the end of the last post, but I didn't because this is a draft I've been meaning to finish.
I've finished it.
Good for me.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. How do you make someone less funny?
You poke holes in their eyes and drain them of their vitreous humour.
I'm not sure anymore.
Do people expect things from me?
Would you, as a reader of this blog post, expect anything more than a quick insight into my life, possibly followed by a pun (I'm planning on doing something with all these damn puns... I'm so sorry)?
I could have tagged this onto the end of the last post, but I didn't because this is a draft I've been meaning to finish.
I've finished it.
Good for me.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. How do you make someone less funny?
You poke holes in their eyes and drain them of their vitreous humour.
I Tried to Explain Things... with Me, That Doesn't Always Work
I don't know if anyone currently reading this has ever clicked the "my tumblr" link at the top of this blog, but if you have, I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. The link is fixed.
Anywhore, I've discovered photoshop and, honestly, someone should take it away from me before I do any major damage.
But it is good for somethings, like Christmas cards and edits for various purposes.
As you'll notice, I've made some minor changes to the blog. Or maybe they're major. I don't really know, to be honest... it's just some much needed change. Of course, I can't completely erase this blog's dark past...
as long as the things I put on cafe press still remain, I'll always be reminded of the time when my ego slightly inflated.
That's all I have.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. If you're wondering, I have no idea what brought about this change in demeanor. Is it depression? Is it embarrassment for my past self? Is it aliens? The world may never know.
Anywhore, I've discovered photoshop and, honestly, someone should take it away from me before I do any major damage.
But it is good for somethings, like Christmas cards and edits for various purposes.
As you'll notice, I've made some minor changes to the blog. Or maybe they're major. I don't really know, to be honest... it's just some much needed change. Of course, I can't completely erase this blog's dark past...
as long as the things I put on cafe press still remain, I'll always be reminded of the time when my ego slightly inflated.
That's all I have.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. If you're wondering, I have no idea what brought about this change in demeanor. Is it depression? Is it embarrassment for my past self? Is it aliens? The world may never know.
10/28/2013
A Short Story Brought on by God Knows What:
I, being the absolute genius I am, went into cross-dressing prostitution in late 1874. My wife, Andrea, and my son, Alexander, knew nothing of my late-afternoon job, out on the back alley ways without much more to qualify me as "woman" than the tight dress housing hilariously fake breasts. I never got more than a catcall and few bills stuffed down my corset by thankfully quick hands.
In 1879, my son married a petite blonde girl by the name of Caroline... who, in later months, had an affair with my brother Stephen. Alexander and Caroline had taken in a child from the orphanage, a little boy named John. Caroline gave birth to Stephen's son, William, two months later. Alexander was left shocked and heartbroken, leaving the whore and moving to New York, where he met Martha. He wrote often, but never did come home. John had gone with him.
Around 1880, a man by the name of Aaron agreed to aid me in the trafficing of my own body, providing me with realistic false breasts. Little did I know, Caroline was his younger sister.
In the fall of 1881, Caroline and Stephen married, leaving me related to the man currently trafficing my fake breasts in a tight corset for a few bills every couple of days. I quickly dropped out of the business and retired from work for good, basking in the glory of my last few years.
Mary, a woman more inclined to alcohol than any female should be, married John without much of a drunken second thought and birthed a boy they named Levi. Growing up around a wasted mother and broken father, Levi spent much of his childhood far from other children, and was mute until the age of seventeen.
In the spring 1884, Caroline, Stephen, Alexafnder (by means of letters, no doubt), and I formed a cult. Many who heard of this cult wondered why we included only one of our wives, as aposed to all or none. We never did reply, as there wasn't a clear answer.
The next year, Aaron, John, Mary, and William joined
In 1890, Aaron murdered John and William before going into exile. Less than a week after, Carlonie killed herself. Stephen took to drinking with a such a force that he died from alcohol poisoning in 1893.
At the age of eighteen, Levi found love in a tavern with a wasted broad. The poor whore became pregnant with his first son, Benjamin. They wed, and two years after Ben's birth, Jesse was born.
When both sons were in their early twenties, Benjamin tried to murder Jesse by means of rat poison. Instead, he mixed up the cups of tea and drank the poisoned one. He died shortly after.
Jesse spent the rest of his life trying to have a child with various whites from bars, never succeeding. Until one night, when he managed to impregnate a girl who ran before dawn. The child, a boy named Henry, found Jesse on his death bed, who was delighted he had succeeded in his task.
There you go. Fuck knows where that came from.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
In 1879, my son married a petite blonde girl by the name of Caroline... who, in later months, had an affair with my brother Stephen. Alexander and Caroline had taken in a child from the orphanage, a little boy named John. Caroline gave birth to Stephen's son, William, two months later. Alexander was left shocked and heartbroken, leaving the whore and moving to New York, where he met Martha. He wrote often, but never did come home. John had gone with him.
Around 1880, a man by the name of Aaron agreed to aid me in the trafficing of my own body, providing me with realistic false breasts. Little did I know, Caroline was his younger sister.
In the fall of 1881, Caroline and Stephen married, leaving me related to the man currently trafficing my fake breasts in a tight corset for a few bills every couple of days. I quickly dropped out of the business and retired from work for good, basking in the glory of my last few years.
Mary, a woman more inclined to alcohol than any female should be, married John without much of a drunken second thought and birthed a boy they named Levi. Growing up around a wasted mother and broken father, Levi spent much of his childhood far from other children, and was mute until the age of seventeen.
In the spring 1884, Caroline, Stephen, Alexafnder (by means of letters, no doubt), and I formed a cult. Many who heard of this cult wondered why we included only one of our wives, as aposed to all or none. We never did reply, as there wasn't a clear answer.
The next year, Aaron, John, Mary, and William joined
In 1890, Aaron murdered John and William before going into exile. Less than a week after, Carlonie killed herself. Stephen took to drinking with a such a force that he died from alcohol poisoning in 1893.
At the age of eighteen, Levi found love in a tavern with a wasted broad. The poor whore became pregnant with his first son, Benjamin. They wed, and two years after Ben's birth, Jesse was born.
When both sons were in their early twenties, Benjamin tried to murder Jesse by means of rat poison. Instead, he mixed up the cups of tea and drank the poisoned one. He died shortly after.
Jesse spent the rest of his life trying to have a child with various whites from bars, never succeeding. Until one night, when he managed to impregnate a girl who ran before dawn. The child, a boy named Henry, found Jesse on his death bed, who was delighted he had succeeded in his task.
There you go. Fuck knows where that came from.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
10/25/2013
Freshly Painted Nails Make it Difficult to Type
So, I just painted my nails. I mean, I literally just finished. They aren't even dry yet, there's a bunch of rogue nail polish all over my fingers, it's pretty ugly. But, my nails are black now.
Also, I plan on dyeing my hair red. When, I am not sure.
Oh, my... I'm turning emo.
Anyways, the cult will wear our black hooded robes for Halloween and carry plain white candles. I imagine we will have many virgin sacrifices on that day. So far, we've fed them well and kept them safe from harm. They seem content with their capture.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. You know you have great friends when they joke about selling you into prostitution
Also, I plan on dyeing my hair red. When, I am not sure.
Oh, my... I'm turning emo.
Anyways, the cult will wear our black hooded robes for Halloween and carry plain white candles. I imagine we will have many virgin sacrifices on that day. So far, we've fed them well and kept them safe from harm. They seem content with their capture.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. You know you have great friends when they joke about selling you into prostitution
10/19/2013
Started Watching Teen Wolf
So I've started watching Teen Wolf (the TV series), and so far, so good.
And I'm entirely convinced Stiles has a crush on Derek, just saying.
Also, I watched the original Carrie the other day, and I plan on seeing the new one soon.
Tumblr changed its layout, and I am very uncomfortable. Even the logo changed, plus it looks like it's a lighter blue colour for the background (wow, that was such a great sentence). At least the photosets are still the same as always.
"Don't pass to McCall" Shit son, it's about to hit the fan.
-Narwhal Sandkurt, currently watching Teen Wolf in another tab
And I'm entirely convinced Stiles has a crush on Derek, just saying.
Also, I watched the original Carrie the other day, and I plan on seeing the new one soon.
Tumblr changed its layout, and I am very uncomfortable. Even the logo changed, plus it looks like it's a lighter blue colour for the background (wow, that was such a great sentence). At least the photosets are still the same as always.
"Don't pass to McCall" Shit son, it's about to hit the fan.
-Narwhal Sandkurt, currently watching Teen Wolf in another tab
10/13/2013
This post ended up being about chicken nuggers
I don't really have anything to post about at the moment, but I'll come up with something off the top of my head for you (even though there's no post on Sundays).
So I walked to the library yesterday, and found myself getting hungry. So, I went to go get food. I originally wanted mcnuggers, but it was too fucking early to get normal food from McDonald's (which is bullshit, because if I want mcnuggers at, say, four in the morning, I should be able to get mcnuggers at that time). So, I went to burger king instead. No real story, just wanted to vent my frustration about the mcnuggers.
Also, on friday night (which was homecoming), the eighth grade band went and played with the marching band. The clarinets had tacos, mcnuggers, and wendy's fries... we've also decided that next year, we're bringing dinosaur chicken nuggers.
Chicken nuggers are the fucking bomb, okay?
-Narwhal Sandkurt
So I walked to the library yesterday, and found myself getting hungry. So, I went to go get food. I originally wanted mcnuggers, but it was too fucking early to get normal food from McDonald's (which is bullshit, because if I want mcnuggers at, say, four in the morning, I should be able to get mcnuggers at that time). So, I went to burger king instead. No real story, just wanted to vent my frustration about the mcnuggers.
Also, on friday night (which was homecoming), the eighth grade band went and played with the marching band. The clarinets had tacos, mcnuggers, and wendy's fries... we've also decided that next year, we're bringing dinosaur chicken nuggers.
Chicken nuggers are the fucking bomb, okay?
-Narwhal Sandkurt
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