Possibly the Greatest Skype Chat I've Ever Had

My friend Luke and I started talking about Doctor Who... he was watching Idiot's Lantern/Satan Pit, and....

[2:57:02 PM] Anywhore: He's 1200 years old, wears fezzes and eats fish sticks and custard... "Odd" is pretty normal
[2:57:08 PM] Anywhore: You could say he's...
[2:57:12 PM] Anywhore: ... ood
[2:57:25 PM] Professor  Oak: I'm done.
[2:57:32 PM] Professor  Oak: God damnit maggie you fucking did it.
[2:57:37 PM] Professor  Oak: YOU MADE THE PUN
[2:57:47 PM] Professor  Oak: YOU MADE THE FUCKING PUN
[2:57:52 PM] Anywhore: Rose did it first
[2:58:19 PM] Professor  Oak: BUT I M WATHICNG THE OOD EPISONDE DMAN YHOU
[2:58:59 PM] Anywhore: Two-part Ood episode
[2:59:15 PM] Professor  Oak: IM HALFWAY THROUGH PART OOD
[2:59:16 PM] Professor  Oak: I MEAN
[2:59:17 PM] Professor  Oak: TWO
[2:59:24 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHAHA
[2:59:31 PM] Anywhore: PART OOD
[2:59:41 PM] Professor  Oak: FUCK
[3:00:16 PM] Professor  Oak: PART OOD IM DONE WITH MYSELF
[3:00:28 PM] Anywhore: Ehehehe
[3:02:48 PM] Professor  Oak: Alright I think I've recovered from that ood turn of events
[3:02:57 PM] Professor  Oak: OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK
[3:03:17 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHAAHA
[3:04:01 PM] Professor  Oak: I CNAT
[3:04:23 PM] Anywhore: AHAHAHAHAHA
[3:04:50 PM] Professor  Oak: I FUCKIN CANIT
[3:05:06 PM] Professor  Oak: I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TOUCAN
[3:05:15 PM] Anywhore: TOUCAN???
[3:05:28 PM] Anywhore: YOU LOST THE ABILITY TO TROPICAL BIRD???
[3:05:33 PM] Anywhore: OH MAN
[3:05:37 PM] Professor  Oak: TO CAN
[3:05:37 PM] Anywhore: THIS IS SERIOUS
[3:06:04 PM] Professor  Oak: THESE PUNS ARE REALLY OOD
[3:06:05 PM] Professor  Oak: NO
[3:06:07 PM] Professor  Oak: NO
[3:06:08 PM] Professor  Oak: NO
[3:06:13 PM] Professor  Oak: ODDD
[3:06:14 PM] Professor  Oak: ODD
[3:06:23 PM] Anywhore: BAD
[3:06:31 PM] Anywhore: THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
[3:06:32 PM] Professor  Oak: Alright.. I'm okay.
[3:06:35 PM] Anywhore: okay
[3:06:44 PM] Professor  Oak: Whew...Deep breaths....
[3:07:08 PM] Anywhore: You lost the ability to tropical bird there for a second
[3:07:14 PM] Anywhore: it wasn't very ood
[3:07:23 PM] Professor  Oak: ...

In short, never Skype me while watching those episodes. I'll make ood puns.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

I'm Taking a Break from Tumblr

Would sitting behind a computer all day doing nothing but scrolling a "magical" blue website filled to brim with idiots count as leading a sad life? If so, I lead a particularly despairing one.

I suddenly feel very disconnected with a world I once strolled through peacefully, everything I once saw as beautiful corrupted. Anything I thought that damned website stood for is nothing. The inhabitants are annoying, post about smoking pot all the time, and seem to think they're better than everyone else.

I'm no better than anyone, especially not them.

I don't know what's caused this sudden shift. I feel as though it's just there to silently torment, seeing all these innocent people be torn down by some "A+ community of bloggers." I don't care anymore.

I'm taking a break from that. I'm going to leave Tumblr until winter break starts. I'm going to get back on my feet, forget about the pot-smoking idiots who've fucked up my everything, basically, and live like a normal person for the next two weeks. Maybe I'll feel better afterwords. I don't know.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Sleep Deprivation and Skype Chats

I'm not entirely sure what's happening anymore.

I mean, I do know, but it's a warped version of knowing. Like you know, but you got your information from somebody else. I'm the secondary source for my own life, basically.

Days are blurring together, conversations merge with little to no explanation as to why, names don't match to faces... I'm not sure why this is happening, but if I just chalk it all up to a lack of sleep, maybe I'll get to stay home and hibernate for a while.

Oh, well. That's what winter break is for, right?

It probably is a lack of sleep, as basically all mid-pubescents are. Human nature.

[5:55:14 PM] Anywhore: Wait
[5:55:24 PM] Anywhore: New favourite quote
[5:55:40 PM] Karkitty: You have my attention. Go ahead
[5:56:41 PM] Anywhore:  From The Beautiful and Damned by F Scot Fitzgerald, page seven
[5:56:57 PM] Karkitty: *drum roll*
[6:00:21 PM] Anywhore: "The notion of sitting down and conjuring up, not only words to clothe thoughts, but thoughts worthy of being clothed... "
[6:00:42 PM] Karkitty: That's deep.
[6:01:30 PM] Anywhore: The rest of it was just how ridiculous that seems
[6:01:47 PM] Karkitty: Oh?
[6:02:43 PM] Anywhore: There's also a bit where he describes and old man as basically a big whiny baby using bigger words to make it seem less harsh
[6:03:03 PM] Karkitty: Ah
[6:03:26 PM] Anywhore: Also, the main character likes to wear women's clothing alone in his house
[6:03:34 PM] Anywhore: Yep
[6:03:41 PM] Anywhore: F. Scot Fitzgerald
[6:03:52 PM] Anywhore: Totally serious writer
[6:03:56 PM] Karkitty: Oh yeah
[6:03:59 PM] Karkitty: The most serious
[6:05:00 PM] Anywhore: I've actually never read The Great Gatsby, though
[6:05:09 PM] Karkitty: I've been told it's amazing
[6:05:49 PM] Anywhore: I think we read it in High School
[6:05:57 PM] Karkitty: Yeah
[6:06:25 PM] Anywhore: Also Macbeth
[6:06:36 PM] Karkitty: Fun times all around
[6:08:32 PM] Anywhore: I'm writing book quotes now
[6:08:53 PM] Karkitty: Cool
[6:09:18 PM] Anywhore: "Make sweet love to the moist cave wall" - The Fault in Our Stars, John Green
[6:09:45 PM] Karkitty: All these highly valued books
[6:09:54 PM] Anywhore: Yep
[6:11:04 PM] Anywhore: "Have you tried masturbating? It's great!" - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
[6:11:25 PM] Karkitty: All of these quotes are gold
[6:12:24 PM] Anywhore: "I'm riding with the turnips." - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones
[6:14:57 PM] Anywhore: "Kurp." - The Way of Kings, By Brandon Sanderson
[6:15:22 PM] Karkitty: All of them 100% gold
[6:15:55 PM] Anywhore: Kurp means child in some language of his fantasy land
[6:15:58 PM] Anywhore: But hey
[6:16:01 PM] Anywhore: Kurp
[6:16:13 PM] Karkitty: Kurp is a comical word and that's all there is to say
[6:21:06 PM] Anywhore: Yeah
[6:21:34 PM] Anywhore: You git any book quotes?
[6:21:37 PM] Anywhore: Got
[6:21:39 PM] Anywhore: Fuck
[6:22:17 PM] Karkitty: 'A man once asked me to show him his true love. I showed him a mirror.' ~Some book from the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
[6:22:31 PM] Anywhore: Wow
[6:25:04 PM] Anywhore: He should have pointed to the man's hand
[6:25:40 PM] Karkitty: What?
[6:26:04 PM] Anywhore: Ehehe

I'm Anywhore, Karkitty is said male I've known for five years. Normally, he's more talkative, but from what I understand, he playing a video game or some shit. I don't know. Actually, I do, but saying so seems a bit clingy, or... whatever you want to call it.

Also, I guess I should mention the autoplay. Nice, isn't it? Oh, the joys of HTML.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S.
[5:24:15 PM] Anywhore: So
[5:24:19 PM] Anywhore: Aeiou
[5:24:56 PM] Karkitty: I always remember that as  'A (as in hey) E!(name) I(speaker) owe you!'
[5:25:24 PM] Anywhore: I just remember Aeiou with the occasional y
[5:25:44 PM] Anywhore: Also
[5:25:49 PM] Anywhore: Ce ci cy
[5:26:06 PM] Karkitty: I
[5:26:12 PM] Karkitty: Don't know how to say that
[5:26:36 PM] Anywhore: See e, see I, see y
[5:26:53 PM] Karkitty: That
[5:27:01 PM] Karkitty: makes me frustrated and I don't know why
[5:29:29 PM] Anywhore: You can sell cells, but you can't cell sells but a cell can sell cells but a sell can't cell cells or sells plus a cell can't cell sells
[5:30:16 PM] Karkitty: I ca nt stop laughing
[5:31:25 PM] Anywhore: You beat a person with a beet but you can't beet a person with a beat nor can you beet a person with beets but you could potentially beat them with beats
[5:32:15 PM] Karkitty: I
[5:32:30 PM] Karkitty: I don't even
[5:32:41 PM] Anywhore: Depends on the situation
[5:32:58 PM] Karkitty: Yes it does.
[5:33:36 PM] Anywhore: Did I mention a cell can't sell sells?
[5:33:54 PM] Karkitty: I don't know
[5:36:08 PM] Anywhore: Man language just sucks
[5:36:19 PM] Karkitty: Language is crazy man
[5:36:38 PM] Karkitty: My ability to use it drops quickly after I begin
[5:36:44 PM] Anywhore: Affect and effect
[5:36:47 PM] Anywhore: Fuck
[5:37:20 PM] Anywhore: Wait
[5:37:28 PM] Anywhore: Neutral term
[5:37:32 PM] Anywhore: Uffect
[5:37:34 PM] Karkitty: Wha
[5:37:45 PM] Anywhore: Problems solved
[5:37:59 PM] Anywhore: I uffected this greatly

Still Embarrassed... but Hey, Garth Brooks

The initial shock of the whole hand-holding has died down, if only slightly. I'm not completely pathetic now. Still awkward and giggly, but hey, I'm a thirteen-year-girl. It's a given this is going to happen.

Man, I'm even working on poetry for this fucker.

This is getting a bit out of hand.

Anyways, I've come to the realization that Garth Brooks can sing anything.

I have a challenge for him, then:

Happy Chichester's "A Man Needs an Airplane".

Yeah.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. I know I said I don't listen to country, but have you heard Garth Brooks sing Motown? Holy shit.

This is Actually a Bit Embarrassing

This story is pretty embarrassing to me, someone who has honestly never felt my stomach hit the fucking floor, in a good way, let alone when some guy I've known for five years entwines his fingers in mine. Jesus, just thinking about it now makes my stomach twist, but not in the whole I'm-going-to-hurl kind of way.

Then again, this could just the by-product of being touched by someone who isn't some verbally-abusive asshole trying to convince me he loves me so he can get in my pants. Or maybe he is, secretly, but that's a risk we take everyday, isn't it?

Oh, God, no. I'm turning into a sap.

Anyways, we're doing this Secret Santa thing in my language arts class, but we're calling it "Secret Pals" because some people don't celebrate Christmas and they want to be "politically correct." It's only our English class, too, every other class in our grade calls it by it's fucking name.

I'm getting a bit vulgar, aren't I? Damn.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Someone Take Photoshop Away from Me before I Do any Major Damage

I suppose I should put some meaningful content in this post, with it being the 90th one and all, but I really can't bring myself to care enough. I know I'll look back on this blog in a few months to a few years' time and marvel at how much of a pretentious twat I was.

Well, let's enjoy this while it lasts.

By doing another one of those god-awful introductions!

Third time's the charm, right?

I run a fandom blog (assbuttinmordor) and a hipster blog (diveintomylake) on tumblr... also, a few other blogs on this site, which aren't updated as frequently.

I listen to just about anything, from show tunes to death metal. I don't, however, listen to rap, hip hop, or any sort of country, save for a few bands that only slightly dip into the genre.

My sexuality has come to an impasse: pansexuality makes sense for me, since I take time to get to know people before I figure out I like them, but it's really best described as homoflexible. Ah well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Blogging has become a bigger part of my life than originally intended. I'm a faster and more accurate typer because of it, but hey, everyone makes mistakes sometimes - especially when you often times type too fast and fuck up the easy words.

That's enough of an introduction, over eleven months in.

So, I've discovered photoshop. Allow me to share with you some of my beautiful creations:

The last one is my personal favorite.

I think it may go on my Christmas cards this year.
-Narwhal Sandkurt

Ships, Expectations, and Puns, Apparently.

Apparently, my friends can't look at me the same way since I told them I ship Erii2ol. Too bad. In case they hadn't noticed, everything I ship - save for Finchel and DaveJade - is gay. All of them. Klaine, Erii2ol, Destiel, Sterek, Johnlock... did they really expect anything more from me?

I'm not sure anymore.

Do people expect things from me?

Would you, as a reader of this blog post, expect anything more than a quick insight into my life, possibly followed by a pun (I'm planning on doing something with all these damn puns... I'm so sorry)?

I could have tagged this onto the end of the last post, but I didn't because this is a draft I've been meaning to finish.

I've finished it.

Good for me.
-Narwhal Sandkurt
P.S. How do you make someone less funny?

You poke holes in their eyes and drain them of their vitreous humour.