I Apologise for the Emotion

I can't do it.

I just can't do it.

I can't keep living in this body.

I don't even feel like it's mine anymore, I feel like I'm just dressing up a sack of meat to look like what it should.

And I'm fucking tired of my friends refusing to introduce me as a guy because you can still see my breasts, and I'm tired of people grimacing when I say I prefer to be called Mark and I'm tired of my closest friends saying they have a right to not call me my preferred name or pronouns or anything.

Why couldn't I have just been born male? Why couldn't I have just been born normal? Why do I have to be the "disgusting tranny"?

Why am I not like everyone else?

I feel like my friends gave up on me, like they don't want me anymore because I'm a trans boy.

I feel like the rest of my family won't want me when they find out.

I feel like I'm going to be "damaged goods" for the rest of life, no one loves transgenders or transsexuals, they shudder at the thought of being near them.

I feel like, no matter how hard I try, I will never be the boy I want to be.

And it's going to tear me apart piece by piece until there's nothing left.
-Narwhal Sandkurt